


Just... Break Up?

by Monsieur_Grenouille



Category: Fall Out Boy
Genre: Joe Trohman is done with your crap, Joe centric, M/M, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:08:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24788254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Monsieur_Grenouille/pseuds/Monsieur_Grenouille
Summary: “Joe, we come to you for relationship advice, but you’re no help. You just tell us to break up every time. Is there something you’re not telling us?”Joe doesn’t hesitate to sit up and defend himself, “I’m not your fucking marriage counselor, that’s what I’m not telling you.”
Relationships: Joe Trohman/Marie Trohman (referenced), Patrick Stump/Pete Wentz
Comments: 4
Kudos: 6





	Just... Break Up?

**Author's Note:**

> I hate when friends come to me for advice. This is my way of fighting back against it. This is my frustration.

Patrick knocks on the door of Joe’s door, making the guitarist groan. “What. Do. You. Want?” he pronounces with gritted teeth. Somewhere along the line, Patrick and Pete got the idea that they should be a couple. Then they had problems, but instead of talking about it with each other, they’re using Joe as free therapy. Joe doesn’t know how to help them. Just break up, you know? Isn’t that what happens when a relationship isn’t going well? 

Patrick lets himself in. “Am I getting in the way of something?” he asks. 

_My sanity_. “No, you’re fine.” Joe sets down his guitar next to him and goes into Therapist Friend mode. “What is it this time?” 

Patrick leans against the wall in front of him. “Pete wants to meet my mom’s side. You know, the side I’m not out to?” 

Joe replies sarcastically, “Since you’re definitely out to your dad’s side, too.” 

Patrick continues, “Anyway, he’s telling me to come out to them and I’m saying I don’t want to but he’s saying that if I don’t, then I don’t love him. But here’s the thing: I love Pete. I want him to meet my parents but maybe I don’t need to introduce him as my boyfriend. They know Pete and I are in a band, so–“ 

Joe huffs, “If you really have this many arguments, why are you dating? It sounds like all you guys do is fight and have sex, both of which I’m sick of hearing. Please just break up already!” He reaches for his earbuds and sticks one in his ear. “Don’t talk to me until you and Pete have figured this out.” 

* * *

Pete comes into the bunks to see Joe later. He sits next to him and tries to get his attention. “Joe? Joey? Hi.” 

Joe gives him an annoyed look. “If this is about Patrick, I don’t want to hear it. You guys need to sort out your shit,” he bites. Pete chuckles and pats him on the back. 

“It’s not about him—“ 

Joe relaxes. 

“—it’s about our relationship.” 

Joe’s pissed. “How the hell is that any different?! Just break the fuck up!” He throws his arms up in surrender. “It’s not gonna get better if you don’t. We were a good band. We were all good friends who played good music and none of us were screwing each other behind the scenes. If you want an idea of a good relationship, look at me and Marie. We do couples things every so often and when we’re upset about something, we tell each other. Relationships are about communication, and if you can’t talk to Patrick, you shouldn’t be dating him at all! Please... just get out of my bunk... and talk to your goddamn boyfriend.” Joe goes back to his book immediately. 

Pete rolls his eyes and stands up to leave. “You’re no help, Trohman,” he accuses. 

Joe mutters under his breath, “Only because you’re not telling me what to say.” 

* * *

Andy comes in later. Joe smiles and sets down his sketchbook. “Finally! A stable person!” he jokes. Andy hands him a sandwich and sits down next to him. They sit in silence for a bit, exchanging glances and listening to each other breathing. Eventually, Andy speaks. 

“They’ve been getting to you, haven’t they?” he asks sagely. 

Joe exhales and nods. “Not to be a hypocrite by venting to you, but I just don’t get it! They refuse to communicate and it’s damaging them. If they don’t sort out their shit soon, the band might be in danger. They either need to break up or talk it out, and I want no part of it.” He takes an angry bite out of his sandwich. Stress eating. 

Andy puts his hand on Joe’s knee and gives him a comforting look. “Don’t stress it, Joe. Tell them you don’t want to be their therapist. You’re not getting paid, after all.” 

Joe smiles faintly and wraps his arms around Andy. “And neither are you. Love you, bro.” 

“No homo, though.” 

Joe laughs and stands up. “Full homo, Andrew. You can not escape the homo. It will be with you until you die.” He points finger guns at Andy as he walks out of the bunks. Pete’s on the couch and Patrick is kneeling on the floor, giving him a blowjob excitedly. Pete has his hands tangled in Patrick’s hair to force him down. Patrick’s just licking and sucking and worshipping as if there’s no tomorrow as Pete praises him every few seconds. The lazy sighs and moans burn themselves in Joe’s memory along with the image. Joe shudders and heads back to Andy. “Now I see why you’re here,” he grimaces. Andy nods as he takes a bite of his sandwich. 

“Just eat and forget,” he says. 

Joe sits down and eats his sandwich, but he can’t stop imagining it. “The sandwich...” he whispers, “It’s a footlong.” 

Andy nods slowly, avoiding eye contact and staring longingly at the floor. “Just eat and forget,” he repeats quietly. Joe tries to eat his sandwich while thinking, _It’s not a dick. It’s a sandwich. It’s just a BLT. Just eat the damn BLT, Joe._ He scoots closer to Andy and tugs him closer by the waist. “Touch starved?” Andy guesses. 

Joe squeezes him. “Yeah,” he mumbles, “Touch starved and wishing that those two would either break up or talk about it. They don’t need to be that lusted though, fucking each other and sucking dick on the bus. I mean, I love my wife, but we don’t make out in front of our kids.” 

Andy nods and lays his head on Joe’s shoulder. “Maybe you should stop giving them advice. If they want to talk, they’ll do it to each other,” he informs. Joe smiles and reaches up to stroke Andy’s slightly curly head hair. They sit in happy silence for an hour, falling asleep in the warmth of the other’s hold. 

Hours later, they’re woken up by both Pete and Patrick coming into the bunks, mad. Patrick has his arms crossed over his chest and Pete just looks frustrated. Andy takes his head off Joe’s shoulder and turns to the couple. Joe slowly wakes up, then rolls his eyes as soon as he sees what’s going on. “Good lord,” he mutters. 

Patrick talks first. “Pete and I can’t just break up, Joe. We’ve known each other too long. I know everything about him and he knows everything about me. We’re perfect for each other. That should be enough reasons for you. Stop telling us to break up.” 

Joe shrugs. “Then stop asking for my advice.” 

Pete steps forward and takes Joe by the shirt collar threateningly. Joe doesn’t back down yet; no one can scare him anymore. Only fire and suicide can scare him. “Joe, we come to you for relationship advice, but you’re no help. You just tell us to break up every time. Is there something you’re not telling us, like a crush on either of us or that you’re homophobic?” 

“I’m bisexual! I can’t be homophobic! And if I had a crush on _either_ of you, I wouldn’t be happy with my wife and daughters.” Joe doesn’t hesitate to sit up and defend himself, “I’m not your fucking marriage counselor, that’s what I’m not telling you. You need to get over yourselves, admit that you’re wrong, and break the fuck up. No one’s going to realize anything for you.” 

Pete lets go of his shirt collar and steps back. Patrick’s staring at his boyfriend like a wounded puppy, eyes soft and pleading. “Pete, it’s over,” he barely whispers. Joe feels a flutter in his chest. He got them to crack. Pete glares at Patrick, but the younger boy just repeats himself, “It’s over. We’re good friends. We know everything about each other, which makes it hard to date you. We both know too much. Let’s just be friends.” 

Pete clenches his jaw, pissed with both Joe and Patrick at the same time. He turns to Joe. “Fuck you,” he growls, “Look what you did.” 

Patrick shakes his head. “This was my decision. He’s been saying the same few words over and over and even just then, he didn’t state any evidence as to why we should break up. He didn’t convince me. I took his advice.” 

Pete softens a little over the next minute as they all stare at each other. He nods with a little understanding. “I’m sorry, Joe,” he apologizes, “I shouldn’t have touched you.” 

Joe waves it off. “You can’t scare me anyway. I’ve known you too long. You’re just my big brother, dude.” He whacks teasingly at Pete’s arm. Pete looks surprised, but relaxes. Patrick still seems uncomfortable, probably because he and Pete just banged it out thirty minutes ago but now they’re back to being friends and are supposed to be indifferent. Joe reaches out to squeeze at Patrick’s arm. “You can talk to me, you know? I can deal with one-person problems.” 

Patrick gives him a faint smile. His eyebrows are still hung low, but in the sad way. “O-Okay,” he mumbles. Breakups always depress him. Joe would have to do some fun things with him over the next few days to distract him, but he knew it would be all okay in the end. And as for Joe, he learned something; he had to say a bit more than “Just break up.” 

**Author's Note:**

> I’m camping this week, so this is how I spent my hour of WiFi. You better be happy.


End file.
